Saturday, March 19, 2016

The 2016 Super Bowl Gossip! ...


No way! No way!!  No (freaking!) WAY!!!

<Jumping up and down while squealing for joy!>

Has anybody else heard the latest rumor going around about Bruno Mars?!!

Well, <attempting to compose myself … without much success!> according to different sources, the NFL (I knew that there was a reason that I liked those guys!) is asking Bruno to come back and … Are you ready for THIS, Hooligans?!! …HEADLINE the Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show!!

I know, right?! <Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!> It's too good to be true!!

Of course, Bruno has not given an answer yet, sooo … say YES, Bruno!  <Clasping Hands frantically> Please, please, pleeeeeease say yes!!

1 Week later ...

<Drumming Fingers impatiently>

Dude! Seriously?!  You are killing me here!!

<Uggghhhh!> STILL no answer from Bruno about the Super Bowl!

Surely the question hasn't reached his ears yet.  I mean, honestly, it’s not like he would ever say no, or anything! ... Am I Right?! … Bruno??

1 ½ Weeks later …

<Playing the “Desk Drums” … Badly>

2 Weeks later ..

<Popping lips>

You think he’ll sing “Uptown Funk!”? … I think he’ll sing “Uptown Funk!” …

2 ½ Weeks later …

<Rearranging my Pen Cup for the gazillioneth time while humming to myself … slightly off key>

<“Uptown funk you up, uptown funk you up! …”>

<Starting to “Office Chair-Dance” … Knocking off Pen Cup … Oh, Sh#t!! …>

3 Weeks later …

<Banging head on keyboard!>

<Aaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!> Why, Bruno, Whyyyyyyyy?!!

Why has there been no response, hmmm?!!  What up?!

No confirmation, no small hint, no NOTHING!!

Brunz, (Can I call you “Brunz”?) man, what is there to think about??

Just say yes!  Pleeeease?!

C’mon, just one, teeny, baby, syllable (I’ll even say it with you!), “YES”!

3 ½ Weeks later …

<Filing down fingernails to non-existent, helpless, little nubs>

<Blowing out air emphatically> It’s cool! ... It’s alllll good!! ... I can wait.

He's gonna say yes.

Yup.  Definitely gonna say yes.

4 Weeks later …


Mm-mmm …Yup, yup, yup.


Bruno's going to the SUPERBOOOWWWWWLLLL!!!! 

<Leaping up excitedly from Office Chair … once again knocking over Pen Cup!>

That’s right, Hooligans!!  According to Wikipedia, the one, the only, Bruno “Funking” Mars will be performing LIVE in the 2016 Super Bowl Halftime Show!

< Aaaaahh!! > I can’t WAIT!!

< Attempting a very poor version of the “Running Man” … “What’s he gon' do?!  Dance, jump on it!!  And if he’s sexy, he’ll flaunt it! …” >

I KNEW IT!!  I knew it, knew it, KNEW it!!!  (<Ahem!> Never doubted you a second, Bruno!)

<Whew!> Okay! <Taking breath> Okay, calming down now! (Yeah, that’s a cramp!)

<Plopping back down in Office Chair, clutching side>

I mean, <Another deep breath> for just a little while there (<Pfffft!>Try four whole MONTHS!) I thought maybe he wasn’t gonna be there!

To think! ... Super Bowl 50 WITHOUT “Uptown Funk!”?? ... HA!!  
Totally ridiculous.

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